Everything comes from a proverb, "he sees a mote in someone else's eye, but he does not notice in his own log."
There is a certain "grade" of people, and sometimes it's close people who consider it necessary to make a remark about your clothes, appearance, age, food that you eat, your house and order in the house. In general, for any reason, such small, like minor comments, but you are very annoying. And they do it as shamelessly as if you yourself asked about it. Type: what kind of paste do you brush your teeth, otherwise something's teeth are not quite white; something you do not look good today, apparently yesterday buhal (and you do not even drink); These glasses go to you, but I would wear other ... etc, etc.
And it's not even in the remarks themselves, but that it causes irritation, discomfort in the soul and the mood is spoiled for a while.
Such comments from a stranger do not really cause emotions, but if it is an acquaintance, a friend, a friend, a relative who consider it their duty to make a comment? It would seem a little and said, and irritation begins to fill the soul, and even about the mood and talk is not worth it, it's spoiled. Maybe for a while, but still.
Irritation, irritability. If it is impossible to exclude comments, then it is necessary to somehow resolve the issue with your own annoyance. It is utterly foolish to enter into a struggle with annoyance, if it owns us, for we will inevitably lose. Here the nature of our mind also acts: the more we fill the mind, the more we become.
But living some time of life, I realized that you can deal with this and at the same time get rid of those who like to make comments. There is a cure in this situation, and it is quite simple.
First of all, we already know that there are such people, which means that during the day we will hear comments "out of place" or inappropriate, so to speak. So, we already know that we may be annoyed by this fact.
Do not forget: "what do we fill the mind with, so do we become"?
And we need to fill our minds first of all with self-control, which is very easy, knowing in advance that during the day you will come across a situation when you hear an inappropriate remark. Self-control will not fill your mind and soul with annoyance. But for your composure to be strong, let your word, thank you, be your instrument, which strengthens it.
Yes Yes! It is thanks to keep you in the mood, do not let irritation fill your mind and darken the soul. How to use this word? As a medicine!
Imagine: you are told that your shirt that you dressed is no longer fashionable and you should buy another.
But she is already dressed for you and I like you. Tell the speaker, thank you! Thank you for suggesting and I will take this into account!
Or they say that you keep the fork and knife in the wrong hand, but it is more convenient for you.
Thank you, we must try the next time differently.
Or: you're not in a "form" today ...
And you in return: thanks that I saw and it's easier ...
And say thanks always from the heart and sincerely! Speak as if you understand that a person who has made a remark of good wants you, participates in your life, which is far from the case.
For each inappropriate remark, thank you. And you will see that soon the remarks will disappear, and your mind will not be annoyed, but the soul will be calm. And about the mood generally silent, it will be fine.
And perhaps your answer in the person of the interlocutor, you will see confusion, because he just does not expect such an answer. He generally does not expect an answer, he is sure that he has sown irritation in you.
Thank you! My dear companion, who likes to make comments to the place and out of place, did not work.
And a little wisdom from the Holy Fathers on this matter.
... If in a state you are a chaste reason to cut a bitter root of irritability, then you will destroy many passions in their very beginning (St. Basil the Great, 8, 153).
It is better to suppress an irritation than to rage indomitable (St. Ephraim the Syrian, 30, 175).
Do you want to curb irritability? Take on humility, and walk by the meek and humble (St. Ephraim the Syrian, 30, 198).
Irritability in man is a ditch for him; and who overcame his irritability, he passed this moat (St. Ephraim the Syrian, 30, 191).
PS If you yourself suffer such an ailment as a desire to make inappropriate remarks to everyone, then you are most likely tormented by pride. Some call this their self-esteem, thus belittling the self-esteem of another person. Heightened self-esteem.
I would advise such people, waking up to remember that we are all born red, wrinkled, loud and ugly. Get up and go straight to the mirror, not yet washed, not putting yourself in order. Look at yourself half asleep ...
Do not forget that I wrote at the very beginning? "What we fill the mind with, we become"!
So, if our mind is filled with only a desire to see other shortcomings in it, and moreover, the desire to express it publicly, then we will remain wrinkled and screaming. Pride does not paint a person, does not adorn his soul, but destroys. Love for man makes you beautiful. Fill your soul with love.
"Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22: 36-40).
"But above all put on love, which is the totality of perfections" (Col. 3: 14).