Today: December 11 2018
russian English greek latvian French German Chinese (Simplified) Arabic hebrew

All that you will be interested in knowing about Cyprus on our website Cyplive.com
the most informative resource about Cyprus in runet
Notes of a plastic surgeon (joke)

Notes of a plastic surgeon (joke)

August 14 2018 LJ cover – Записки пластического хирурга (шутка)

I looked at her face, made by plastic surgeons, looked at her body, caked by the same people, and asked:

- Girl, what do you have?

She answered without hesitation:

– Паспорт.

***

The girl kept asking who she looked like: her mother or her father. She could not answer this question. Papa, she did not remember, my mother broke up with him for a long time. And her mother did not remember how she looked before plastic surgery.

***

Mantra. If you do not have enough money for plastic surgery, learn how to use photo editors. A good photoshop on social networks will not only raise your self-esteem, but it will also puzzle your fans.

***

They have been in the social network for several months. She was beautiful and charming. Her photo and her thoughts filled all his consciousness. It's time to meet.

He looked at her and thought:

- How inexorably time flies and how merciless it is to beauty. Yesterday she was beautiful ...

***

– Доктор, когда Вы мне исправили носик, я стала немного богаче. Когда Вы мне увеличили грудь, я стала еще богаче. А когда Вы мне увеличили попку, я вдруг стала еще богаче, чем прежде.

– Так в чем проблема, если Вы пришли снова ко мне?

– Доктор, а нельзя что – то сделать с головой, чтобы все это сохранить?

***

– Доктор, а нельзя ли мне вернуть первоначальную внешность?

- What for?

– Ну должна же во мне быть какая – то изюминка в отличии от моих подруг!

***

Somewhere far in the open field, among the daisies and cornflowers a plastic surgeon was sitting alone and crying. He was left without work. People began to live on the Internet and use Photoshop.

He looked with longing at the crows flying past, loudly croaking, and thought, and even they could become nightingales.

***

Facelift.

– Доктор, спасибо Вам! Когда я улыбаюсь после Вашей операции, у меня даже сиськи встают! А когда кашляю, они еще и подпрыгивают!

***

Fairy tale.

Little Red Riding Hood went to the beauty salon on the way to her grandmother.

That's the end of the tale.

***

The world is changing beyond recognition: the real is becoming more like a virtual one.

"REFLECTIONS" Grandpa Go
CypLIVE
GTranslate Your license is inactive or expired, please subscribe again!