At the 5-th week of the Great Lent, the memory of St. Mary of Egypt. In the life of the saint there is an amazing moment - this is the moment of her repentance and conversion to God. Together with the pilgrims she wished to enter the Jerusalem Temple in honor of the Resurrection of Christ, but was unexpectedly stopped by some invisible force. Then she realized that the Lord does not allow her to go to a holy place for her uncleanness and sinful life. In fear and trembling, she turned to God with penitential prayer, praying to forgive her and promising to correct her life.
In the lives of many people, there is also a saving meeting with the Lord, when a person, pierced by the thought of his sinful and senseless life, abandons his former life and takes the path of correction and service to the Lord.
Such a meeting with the Lord took place in the life of the famous Russian philosopher, literary critic and publicist, buried in Optina Pustyn, Ivan Vasilievich Kireevsky, who is an enlightened Westerner, a lover of Hegel and Schelling, publisher of the magazine with the spoken name "European", closed by the government because of "Progressive" ideas, became a deeply religious person convinced of the need for the wholeness of the spirit, which is given only by faith.
In one of the works of I.V. Kireevsky wrote: "Not all are possible, not all are necessary theological studies; it is not possible for everyone to practice with wisdom; not for everyone is possible a constant and special exercise in that inner attention, which cleanses and gathers the mind to a higher unity; but for everyone it is possible and necessary to relate the direction of his life to his fundamental conviction of faith, to agree with him the main occupation and every special matter, that every action be the expression of one aspiration, each thought seek one ground, each step lead to one goal. Without that, a person's life will not make any sense, his mind will be a countless machine, his heart a collection of soulless strings in which an occasional wind whistles; no action will not have a moral character, and man will not actually be. For man is his faith. "
To the right is the grave of IV Kireevsky in Optina Desert
After the death of Ivan Vasilyevich, among his papers were discovered a note written by his friend AI. Koshelev with the words of his wife Kireevsky. We give the full text of this note, which is called "History of the treatment of Ivan Vasilyevich."
"I.V. Kireevsky married in 1834 year on the girl Nat. Peter. Arbeneva, brought up in the rules of strictly Christian piety. In the first days after the wedding, the fulfillment of our church rituals and customs by him unpleasantly struck him, but in his characteristic tolerance and delicacy, he in no way prevented her from doing so. She, for her part, was even more saddened by the lack of faith in him and the complete disregard for all customs of the Orthodox Church. There were conversations between them, which ended with the fact that it was necessary for him not to interfere with her in the performance of her duties, but to be free in his actions, but he promised not to blaspheme with her and even in every possible way to stop the conversations of his friends that were unpleasant for her.
For the second year after his marriage, he asked his wife to read Cousin (Victor Cousin, 1792-1867) - a French philosopher, historian and politician]. She willingly did it, but when he began to ask her opinion about this book, she said that there was a lot of good in it, but she found nothing new there, because in the creations of St. Fathers all this is much deeper and more satisfactory. He grinned and fell silent. He began to ask his wife to read with him Voltaire. She announced to him that she was ready to read any serious book that he would offer her, but ridicule and all blasphemy were disgusting to her and she could not hear or read them.
Then after a while they began to read together Schelling, and when great, bright thoughts stopped them and I.V. Kireevsky demanded surprise from his wife, then she replied that she knew these thoughts from the works of the Holy Fathers. Repeatedly, she showed it to them in the books of St. Fathers, which made Ivan Vasilyevich sometimes read whole pages. It was unpleasant for him to realize that he really was in St. Fathers have much more than he admired in Schelling.
He did not like to admit it, but secretly took books from his wife and read them with enthusiasm. Acquaintance with the Novospassky monk Filaret [in the schema of Theodore (Pulyashkin, 1758-1842), the elder of the Novospassky monastery], conversations with the holy elder, reading various creations of St. Fathers delighted him and carried him to the side of piety. He went to Fr. Filaret, but every time as if by coercion. It was evident that he wanted to go to him, but always needed some kind of coercion. Finally, in 1842, the death of the old man Filaret finally confirmed him in the path of piety.
I.V. Kireevsky had never worn a cross before. His wife repeatedly asked him about it, but Ivan Vasilievich kept silent. Finally, one day he told her that he would put on the cross if he was sent to him from Fr. Filaret, whom he already respected the mind and piety for a long time. Natalia Petrovna went to Fr. Filaret and told him that. The old man, having crossed himself, took off his cross and, giving, said to Natalia Petrovna:
- Let him be to Ivan Vasilievich for salvation.
When Natalia Petrovna arrived home, Ivan Vasilyevich, meeting her, asked:
- Well, that said about. Philaret?
She takes out the cross and gives it to Ivan Vasilievich. Ivan Vasilyevich asks her:
"What cross is this?"
Natalia Petrovna tells him that Fr. Filaret withdrew him from himself and said that he would be his salvation. Ivan Vasilyevich fell to his knees and said:
"Well now tea is a salvation for my soul, for in my mind I put it: if Father Filaret takes off his cross and sends it to me, then it will clearly be that God calls me to salvation." From that moment, a decisive turn in the thoughts and feelings of Ivan Vasilyevich was noticeable.
After the death of his father, Ivan Vasilyevich, living near the Optical Desert, in frequent conversations with Fathers Leonid, Makarii and other elders, more and more strengthened in piety. He read a lot of fatherly books, talked often with the elders and increasingly strengthened for his future work. "
In one of the letters to AI. Koshelev Ivan Vasilyevich admitted: "It is more important than any books and all thinking to find a holy elder who could be your leader, to whom you could communicate every thought of yours and hear about her not his opinion, more or less clever, but the judgment of the Holy Fathers; such elders, thanks to God, still exist in Russia ... "