Strive peace in yourself - and peace with you will have heaven and earth.Reverend Isaac the Syrian (82, 280).
If your brother is angry with you, then the Lord is angry with you. But if you were reconciled with your brother on earth, then you were reconciled to your Lord in Heaven. If thou perceive thy brother, thou shalt also perceive thy Lord. So, be reconciled with Him in the face of the offended, rejoice in the face of the hungry. In the face of a weary traveler, prepare him a soft bed, wash his feet, put him in the first place at the table, break his bread and give it to Him, give Him and his cup. He showed you a much greater love: he took water, sanctified it and washed it with your untruth, crushed your body for you and gave you to drink his blood.Rev. Ephraim the Syrian (28, 212).
To the words "if ... you remember that your brother has something against you" (Matthew 5, 23) The Savior did not add anything, that is, rightly or unjustly, he has, - be reconciled. It does not say: if you have anything against it, but: if it "has anything against you," try to reconcile it with yourself. "Leave there your gift before the altar, and go before reconciliation ..." (Matthew 5, 24). God refuses even his own honor, so long as we keep love ... But the gift commands you to leave in order to put you before the need for reconciliation, for if you still want to bring your gift, you must be reconciled. But with this, He shows that love is the true sacrifice.Blessed Theophylact (115, 553).
The Lord commands that his worship should be left for the love of his neighbor (Matthew 5, 23-24). ... Let, He says, the service will be interrupted to Me, only if your love is preserved, because this is also a sacrifice when someone is reconciled with his brother. That's why He does not say: be reconciled by bringing or before bringing the gift, but sends to be reconciled with the brother, when the gift lies before the altar and the sacrifice is already begun. He does not order to take with him the gift brought with him, he does not say: be reconciled before you bring it, but commands you to flee to your brother, leaving a gift before the altar(41, 184).
If you bring a prayer with an unpleasant disposition, it is better for you to leave it and go reconcile with your brother and then make a sacrifice (Matthew 5, 23-24). In order to do this, everything was arranged, for that, and God became a man and accomplished the whole work of redemption in order to unite us. Here is Christ. He sends the offender to the offended, but teaching prayer, leads the offended to the offended and reconciles them; here it says: if "your brother has anything against you" (Matthew 5, 23), go to him, and there he says: "forgive the people of their transgression" (Matthew 6, 14). However, here too, it seems to me. He sends offended, because he does not say: ask your brother to be reconciled to you, but simply: "Be reconciled" (Matthew 5, 24). And although the speech here, apparently, is addressed to the insulted, but everything refers to the offended. If you, he says, will reconcile with him for the love of him, then I will be merciful to you, and you can make a sacrifice with full boldness. If, however, the anger is still burning in you, then imagine that I myself willingly agree that you will leave a sacrifice for a while, only to make you friends. Let this tame your wrath. Moreover, He did not say: be reconciled, when you are very offended, but: do it also when the insult is unimportant - if "it has anything against you". And he did not say also: when you are angry rightly or unfairly, but simply: if "he has anything against you," even though your anger was just, and then there should be no hatred. So Christ, in spite of the fact that His wrath against us was righteous, He gave Himself for us to the slaughter, without imputing to us our sins(41, 184-185).
How much evil comes from irritation and anger! And what is especially difficult is that when we are at enmity, we do not want to start reconciliation ourselves, but we expect others; everyone is ashamed to come to the next and be reconciled. Look: to part and part is not ashamed, but he himself believes the beginning of this evil, and to come and unite the divided is ashamed ... Did not you yourself have caused great resentment and was the cause of enmity? Justice requires that you yourself first come and be reconciled as the former cause of enmity. But if the other offended ... in this case, you should begin to reconcile to you, so that you are more surprised that you will have the primacy in one and the other: how was not you the cause of enmity, so you do not have to be the reason for its continuation; maybe, and he, realizing his guilt, will be ashamed and will become intelligible. But is he arrogant? Especially do not hesitate to come to him. He suffers from two diseases: pride and anger ... You are healthy, you can see, and he is in darkness - this is exactly anger and pride. You are free of them and healthy; come to him, as a doctor to the sick ... is not it worse than any illness pride and anger? Is not anger like a strong fever, and pride a developing tumor? Go, extinguish his fire, you can do it with the help of God. Stop his swelling like a lotion. But what, you say, if he is even more proud of this? You have no need for this; you will do your work, and he will be responsible for himself. If only our conscience does not reproach us, that this is due to the omission of something on our part ... The Scriptures command to go to reconciliation and do good to the enemy not to collect burning coals on him, but that he, knowing this, should correct himself trembled and was afraid of these blessings more than offenses. For the warring is not so dangerous enemy who caused him evil, as a benefactor, doing him good, because the rancorous harms himself and him, and the one who does good gathers coals of fire on his head. Therefore, you say, and should not do him good, so as not to collect coals on him? But do you want to collect them on your own head? .. And what if I increase the enmity even more? No, it's not you who are guilty, but he, if he is like a beast; if and when you are a benefactor and give him honor and a desire to reconcile, he will persevere in continuing hostility, then he collects fire on himself, burns his own head, and you are not at all guilty(43, 435).
"Let not the sun go down in your anger" (Eph. 4, 26). In the course of the day, many can distract and reject us from anger, and at night, when a person remains alone and surrenders to his thoughts, the waves rise higher and the storm rages with more fury. Warning this, Paul wants us to meet the night reconciled, so that the devil does not take advantage of our solitude and does not ignite a stronger oven of anger(41, 185).
Do not say: what am I to do if they insult me, if they rob me of my property and bring me to court? Christ also in this case forbids to feed enmity, taking away everyone to that occasion and pretext. Since this command was especially important, the Lord persuades him to follow his instructions not to future benefits, but to real benefits, which can rather bridle the rough people than promises of the future. You say: he is stronger than me and hurt me? But will it not do you any more harm if you do not reconcile with it? If you avoid this conflict, you will gain a double benefit: first, you will not suffer any trouble; secondly, it will be your virtue, rather than the effect of coercion(41, 186).
If we sincerely want to be reconciled, we will not back down (from the warring) until we overcome it with our intensified requests, until we draw to ourselves and make the hostility against us cease. Do we give him mercy? No, the fruits of good deeds are transferred to us; we are attracting the goodwill of God, gaining forgiveness for our sins, receiving great boldness before the Lord(38, 283).
The more who sinned against us, the more we must hasten to reconciliation with him, because more sins will be forgiven for this.St. John Chrysostom (36, 239).
If the brother for the first time resisted - generously tolerate, if in the second - do not lose hope, there is still time for healing, if for the third time - be a philanthropic farmer, yet persuade the master not to cut down and expose the wrath of a barren and useless fig tree, but take care about it and Fertilize around it the soil (Luke 13, 8), that is, heal the brother with the confession of his shameful deeds and shameful life. Who knows if this fig tree will bring fruit and will not nourish Jesus returning from Bethany? Suffer a real or seeming bad smell of your brother's actions, you who are anointed with the spiritual world, compiled according to the art of making, to give your brother his fragrance. The sin of a poison is poisonous, from which instantly painful pain or death occurs, so that it would be an excuse for you to flee from the snake or kill it. On the contrary, if you can, heal the brother, and if not, at least, you will not be exposed to the danger of any Participation in his viciousness(116, 155).
For a lasting peace, one haste of reconciliation is not enough, unless it is supported by reason and reason, God Himself from Whom every good gets a beginning and comes to perfection, therefore we will try to establish our reconciliation in strength with prayer and meditation.St. Gregory the Theologian (11, 229).
And we, as the executors of their [apostles] teachings, have just come to you, proclaiming peace, and together with Paul we say to you: "Try to have peace with all and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord" (Hebrew 12, 14) . If, without peace, no one sees God, then will he see God in the Future Century, one that does not even live in peace with its fellow citizens? On the contrary, does he not then hear: "If the wicked will be pardoned, then he will not learn the truth" (Isaiah 26, 10) ?!St Gregory Palamas (65,20).
And with the enemies, when they ask for peace, we must reconcile. For who does not reconcile, but torments, without restraining anger by mercy, even those who ask for reconciliation ... he will lose the advantages of victory, will suffer reproach from all like a beast, and will not escape punishment from God(50, 320).
You can not be irreconcilable with the reconciling, but even how much depends on us, you have to reconcile with the irreconcilable, if only piety does not suffer harm.Reverend Isidore Pelusiot (51, 425).
One brother was in sorrow for another brother, who, upon learning of this, came for reconciliation. The first one did not open the door to him. The second went to the old man and told him about it. The old man answered: "Look, is there no reason in your heart? Do not you recognize yourself as right? Do you have any intention of accusing your brother, and of justifying yourself? For this reason, God did not touch his heart and he did not open doors to you. But what I tell you is true: even if he was to blame for you, put in your heart that you are to blame for him, and justify your brother, then God will put in his heart the desire to reconcile with you. " He acted according to the word of the old man and again went to his brother. He immediately opened the door and, before the visitor asked for forgiveness, embraced him from the heart, and between them settled the greatest peace.Father (82, 517-518).
There was a nobleman in Alexandria who, despite all the exhortations of St. John the Merciful, did not want to hear about reconciliation with his enemy. Once the saint invited him to his house church for the Divine Liturgy. The nobleman has come. In the church there was no one from the worshipers; the patriarch himself served, and only one singer was at the choir, and he began to help in singing. When they began to sing the Lord's prayer, the saint also sang it, but in words: "Our daily bread give us day" St. John suddenly stopped talking and stopped the singer, so that one of the nobles alone sang the words of prayer: "And leave us our debts, we leave it to our debtor. " Then the prelate said to him: "Look, my son, at what a terrible time and what you say to God: leave me, as I leave! Do you really speak the truth? These words have so amazed the nobleman that he, all in tears, has rushed to legs of the archpastor and has exclaimed: "Everything, that you will lead, the lord, your slave will execute". And he performed: on the same day he reconciled with his enemy and with all his heart forgave him all the insults.Prologue in the teachings (81, 588-589).