The Lord says: "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22: 39). That is, love another and understand him as you love and understand yourself. And do we love ourselves? Loving yourself does not mean that I have to spin around an hour in front of a mirror, I do not mean this, but the fact that I respect and appreciate myself, take care of myself.
My "I" is not something that can be thrown into the trash: because God loves my "I". And what God loves, I must love and understand, and I - that is, my soul, my needs, desires, character. I will not love my selfishness, but I will try to understand what he is hiding in himself. And as a person I will, nevertheless, love myself, love my soul. That's why I care about her, that's why I go to church to help myself. This means that I love and understand myself.
In any case, understanding is our correct, correct behavior. Our souls love and understand each other. But only from a small age we grew up on different councils, which the elders turned to our mind, saying:
"This man is good, and this one is bad." Speak there, but do not talk here. These are insidious, bad people, and this is kind ...
When we hear this many times, our mind begins to divide people into categories, and we can no longer love as we loved when we were small children. Then we all understood, everyone was ready to embrace. And now we really see that in a small child there is neither guile nor distancing. If two brothers quarrel, then in half an hour they will again play together: they are in love with each other, they have already forgotten about everything, although only that one struck one and the nose was bleeding. But now he forgot about it. Their soul does not harbor any malice.
However, as the child grows, his soul becomes filled with passions. That's where our problem lies - in our mind. We cease to understand people who are near us, we drive them into some patterns, stick labels and labels and appreciate them, but for others we shut our souls and do not like them. "I love" in most cases means "I need you, I want to control you." So do we. I love someone because he helps me.
Once I had a little love for one person, and he told me:
"Father, come here!" Tell me, what do you want? So that I can do you a favor? Did you take him somewhere?
"But why do you say that?"
"Usually, when people love me, they want something!"
It turns out that you love only when you seek benefits from your neighbor ?! But love exists for the sake of love
So it turns out that you love only when you seek some financial or other benefit from your neighbor. But love exists for the sake of love, and this is the beauty of the soul. Which does not mean, of course, that you do not win something. There is no one who would love without receiving anything in return. Christ Himself told us: Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long, and that you may be well (cf. Deut. 5: 16). So that you feel good, love your father and mother, that is, you again have a certain incentive.
Love in itself conceals a great beauty and fills it with our soul. But only there are some people in our life who are difficult for us to love and understand. There are many who differ from us in their thinking, character, way of self-expression, what we call the mentality that everyone has. And we see people who do not particularly correspond to us, and immediately declare: "I can not have anything in common with him, I do not want to see him!"
And the saints say that when you succeed spiritually, the sign of your progress is the willingness to embrace as many people as possible, at least in your heart and mind. I do not say that you lead them to your home, so that you eat together, so that you can cover the table for them, but that your heart does not hang on people labels, so that they do not distribute them in different categories and do not reject them.
When I spiritually prosper and grow, I love the whole Adam. And Christ saved all Adam, and all Adam is the whole world, that is all people. When I am a spiritual person, I gradually begin to understand people with different characters and look at them in the soul, not on clothes, I do not look anymore what they are wearing, what they say, what their appearance is, but looking for something in their Souls and love everyone. I do not distribute people into groups.
It's hard for us to love people who have other ideas than ours. One day at a meal, one person said to me:
"Today we will have problems at this table," and there was a relative there who did not particularly believe in God. "You, father, will have problems."
"Why should I have a problem?"
"Because he does not believe in God!"
- Yes, it's nothing that does not believe in God!
- Well, what should we do now, what should we discuss?
- And we will not discuss. Do I have to argue with him, then to quarrel? We will eat, drink, talk about something else: how are you doing at work, what do the children do?
Do not look for reasons to quarrel because the other does not agree with me ... There's nothing wrong with that. That is, it is not necessary that something turns into an excuse for tension and clashes with people. Do not they also have any pain in life, there are no children who have difficulties with lessons, there is not someone who is sick in their family? We find common points of contact. We will talk about God without them realizing that we are talking about God. We will not preach to them. And if you understand another, you will see that he too has his own pain, his problems and anguish. So I will understand him.
When you believe and live what you believe in, you are no longer interested in whether others agree with you
For my part, there is no problem: it is his right not to believe in God. God loves him and gives him life. Why should I reject it? Or maybe I have not yet felt the confidence in myself and just annoys me that others do not believe? When you believe and live with what you believe in, you are no longer interested in whether others agree with you. This is their right and freedom. Yes, I do not want, that someone did not believe, but I can not force to force him to believe!
You came here today because you wanted to come. Who did not want, he did not come, and no one because of this does not pull. It means loving and understanding all people. And often it happens that those who do not agree with us and who have a different opinion, in certain situations, reason better than us. Just think - now we are not talking about God, but it may turn out that we are talking about God, too - as if it turned out that your child, of whom you are saying that he does not believe in God, if you understand, believes in More correct God than yours. The child can say, "I do not believe in God," but keep in mind: "I do not believe in my mother's God" -which is associated with punishment, shouting, revenge, rigor. And God is not like that. And the child does well that he does not believe in such a God.
If you understand it, you will see that you have much to learn from your own child, who does not agree with you in this or that. But only to do this, you need to understand your child, to penetrate into his soul, and to make it happen, you must be flexible. And this means - do not persist in your opinion, they say, "I know everything, and do not need to teach me! This I teach, and not someone will teach me here! "