True love - the gift of God, which must be asked - appears gradually. In this case, the true purpose of the husband and wife is the continuation of the human race, the upbringing of the souls of children who, together with their parents, should become heirs to the Kingdom of Heaven. Reflects archpriest Valerian Krechetov, rector of the churches of the Intercession of the Virgin and the New Martyrs and Confessors of Russia in the village. Akulovo of the Moscow region.
One girl who does not go to school also asked me: "Why did God create man?" Can you imagine? I had to pray, of course. "God help me! Such a difficult question ... What should I say to her? "I say:
- My dear child, you like it when you are all right in the family, dad and mother are kind and affectionate?
- Yes I Am.
"It means that everyone loves each other." And love is not inherent in self-closure, love is poured on other beings. Our Orthodox Faith refers to God as Love. All three Persons of the Holy Trinity are in mutual love. And the Lord, living in this love, wished that other beings as well were in love and harmony, and created man. The property of love and good is this: "If you are wise, be yourself and your neighbors, if there's any harm, be angry with yourself" (Proverb 9: 12).
This is the purpose of man - he is created for love, love for God. But God is the purest Spirit, and love for Him is a higher and incomprehensible state. And that human love had the opportunity to pour out on something like it, the Lord created man an assistant and continuer of the human race. Adam called her Life - the mother of all living. Therefore, the appointment of the male is the appointment of the father, and the appointment of the female is the appointment of the mother.
Father Valerian in Peredelkino with his family at the beginning of his priestly ministry
The feat of upbringing in family life is the most difficult. By the way, with the natural spiritual life, and even involuntarily, even according to the same utterance of the mouth of God, when the spouses live long in harmony and peace, they do not call each other "wife" or "husband", and eventually they turn to each other friend "father" and "mother." Have you paid attention? "Mother, what are you doing there?" Or: "Father, where did you go?" It's not accidental, it's - in fact.
Therefore, the family is a small Church. The Universal Church is one about which it is said: "To whom the Church is not a mother, to that God is not the Father." The church is our mother. And our Father is Heavenly Father.
Temporarily, a person is given a state of attraction for the continuation of the human race. But with age, it passes. This has a special meaning, because this service - the continuation of the family - is fulfilled, and then - the preparation for the future life. Remember, when the Savior was asked the question: if the seven brothers had one wife - whose she will be in the Kingdom of Heaven, then He replied that there "in the resurrection they neither marry nor encroach, but as the angels of God are in heaven" (Mt. 22: 30 ). That is, the extinction of this temporary gift comes in order for a person to be reconstructed into a spiritual life.
In the beginning, when the children are small, they are not shy, they live in their purity as in paradise. Then there is an attraction, because we are all in a sinful world - but eventually it all departs, and another state arises. Therefore, in the family life, it's better to just not think about this temporary state, it's a transitory one. And life should be built on the spiritual principle - love, good, peace. As they say: what's old, what's small. Not only because he is helpless: just an old and a small man are drawn to affection, love, warmth. And this is exactly what a man needs from infancy and to old age. And this state of consent will be in the Kingdom of Heaven. It is said: husband and wife are co-heirs of the future life.
Father Valerian with children in the temple in Akulovo
There is in this respect a terrific example from the phenomena of the afterlife. One man dies his wife, and he stays with small children. He is a year of mourning. Then - a man after all must work, and children need care, and he was still young - as they say, so as not to tempt the flesh, he decided to marry a second time. As a widower, he legally has this right. And he has some kind of trouble. By the way, if a person did not stand the test, then often he was sent another grief, although he wanted to seem to be consoled, wished for personal, earthly warmth or, perhaps, even comfort. And he had trouble - either embezzlement, or let him down. And as it often happens, you calm down around the children. And he went into the room to the children - they slept, sat down beside them and began to remember his wife. And suddenly the door opens, and she enters, his first wife - with a candle. And he, since he was used to treating her as an assistant and advisor, asks:
"Do you know what happened to me?"
- I know.
"What should I do?"
- Nothing, - pray, everything will pass.
And he begins to understand that she knows something.
- And who did it, you know?
- I know.
"You do not need to know this, it's not good for you."
Then he begins to understand that he is talking with the one who is from a different world, and much is open to her. He is asking:
"And you know, because I married a second time." You're not offended?
- No, on the contrary, you did the right thing.
There is no longer this jealousy - an earthly character. This, as the Apostle said, is a grief according to the flesh, and there is no flesh, there is spirit. Next to her husband's soul, the souls of her children are a loving soul who cares for them. For her this was enough, this was the most important thing. Then suddenly the footsteps of his second mother-in-law were heard, the spouse said: "We should not see together", and left. It is interesting that on the floor there was a wax from the candle - so that he did not think that it all seemed to him.
The appointment of a husband and wife is a continuation of the human race, the upbringing of children's souls, which should become heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven. Unfortunately, this essence is almost forgotten, some see only the earthly, temporary, carnal. And because of this - all the fall, and debauchery, and fornication. Why do families burst like soap bubbles. Because there is no love there. They say: love has passed. In fact, love can not pass. "Anything is no better" (1 Corp. 13: 8).
Indeed, what happens often is still not born even love. It's just an attraction, some new sensations. And these feelings, novelty pass, and nothing remains.
One person loved God, he accepted his courtship, but treated him with some distrust. And, since there was a believer, she asked the elder, the spiritual father from Danilov Monastery, to talk with this person, not very ecclesiastical. And her confessor was Father George Lavrov, now a canonized confessor. She was surprised that the elder spoke to him for a very long time. And Father George said:
- Well, you can get married.
- Like this! I do not like it!
- Do you know what love is?
- Well, I read!
- What you read is not love. This is a hobby, a novelty. She burned away, and cold ashes remained. And love gradually arises, and love is, in general, a gift of God, and it must be asked.
Indeed, then she went out to marry him and lived happily all her life.
And the other slave of God, who was widowed during the war - she really had children, - and she was offered a hand and heart, did not marry. I was already a priest, she talked with her, and she said simply: "Father, if God will not give love - you will not love, but without love - what kind of life?" And that's it.
Archpriest Valerian Krechetov
We are born into this world, whom the Lord has blessed to, and then it is necessary to work, so that he, and all those whom God entrusts to us, inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. But instead of fulfilling what is appointed by the Creator, a person, forgetting about Him, begins to build his own life. And it comes to insanity when he starts to say: "Why am I a man? Why not a woman? "This is already the opposition to the will of God. After all, the Lord first created Adam, and then Eve, and thereby established a hierarchy. And in the Church it exists; The priesthood is so established by God-only the male sex.
The enemy of the human race tries to discredit everything, to alter it in opposition to the will of God. But it has no creative power, but only copies. Someone said very well that the devil is a monkey of God. And if God has in the Kingdom of Heaven all "like the angels of God in heaven" (Mt. 22: 30), and even on earth, it is said: "... there is no male or female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus" ( Gal. 3: 28), then instead of this equality in Christ and in the future life of disembodiment (like the Angels are incorporeal) the enemy tries to arrange equality here on earth. Almost do not turn the flesh - you know this is the madness of some modern people. People try to get away from God and live by their own will, according to their own understanding. But, as St. Nicholas of Serbia says, but is it his own will? Is it your understanding? And the will turns out to be devilish, the mind is devilish - a person simply takes it.
Once I heard an interesting explanation of the word "emancipation". Usually they say: "an emancipated woman". But the primary source of this word is the withdrawal of children from the power of their parents. This is the term of Roman law. The way out of the power of the husband is the emancipation of the woman.
How did children escape from the power of their parents? Roman law, and on it the whole legal science is still based, this process legitimized, and the father who wanted to emancipate his children had to sell to a stranger - the patron. The son had to be sold three times, and the daughter or grandchildren - the power extended to them, as well as to all the offspring - once. It turns out that the emancipated children made up the ranks of the proletariat - this is in the dictionary of Brockhaus and Efron, you can read. The proletarians are those children who did not have anything, because when they left their parents under the power they could not use their means, they lost their inheritance.
And now there are full of emancipated children who do not want to listen to their parents. The parents do not have authority over them. This is legalized by the so-called "juvenile justice", the current emancipation, that is, the withdrawal of children from the power of parents. It turns out where the legs - or hoofs - grow.
They sometimes say: "Father, they want to live on their own." I answer: "Well, the desire for independence is not so bad in itself, but then let them try. Let them prepare and wash themselves. Well, they still can not earn money, because they study, even if they themselves serve ... "And then the desire for freedom ends. Because the dishes need to be washed, and washed and cooked, but nobody wants it. As Nikolai Serbsky once said, freedom is like bread: when one has a lot, then another does not. When children are free, parents are not free and are in slavery to children. That is, the hierarchy is broken, inverted.
And so it turns out that the emancipation of children and served as the formation of the proletariat. But to the proletarians, we, modern people, are far away. Take again Brockhaus and read what proletarians are: they are those who did not have anything, but could have children, and their power over children was preserved. So the laws of modern juvenile justice do not give people even those rights that the Roman proletarians had in ancient times. This is so, to the word about the current state of men and women.
Women, when they wanted to be equal (it began in France, at the end of the XVIII century.) Began to create women's clubs. And they began to demand: once equality, it is necessary to wear men's clothes. True, the Convention has banned all these clubs - they still had something to think about, but now almost all women are wearing pants and men's clothes. And girls are taught from childhood to equality through men's clothing. And wearing men's clothes leaves an imprint on the character.
Yes, in a man's clothing went blessed Xenia, she was foolish, besides she was very fond of her husband and in memory of him wore his things. But it was holy! Mary Egyptian did not have any clothes at all. Some are now approaching this, but you need to be an Egyptian Mary! If you reach such heights, then you can walk, like Basil the Blessed, - also not very dressed. True, he did it in the winter - we, perhaps, so shortly pass.
All these examples provide food for thought. And the reflections are very serious, because in fact the confusion of the sexes, which gradually creeped out, now broke through all over the world.
So, in fact, white handkerchiefs and all kinds of clothes are serious things. Yes, for perfect clothes, it does not matter. But we are far from perfect.
As well as posts. Sometimes they say: "Fasting is not the main thing, the main thing is spiritual!" Well, yes, of course, if you can be like Spiridon Trimiphunt. One day a wanderer knocked at his house. And St. Spiridon had nothing to feed him, because he himself ate food only on a certain day, and ate nothing else, and there was practically no food in the house. Then Saint Spyridon ordered his daughter to fry the salted pork meat that was in stock and, having offered him a wanderer, ate with him himself, so as not to embarrass him. Well, if you can, like Spiridon Trimifuntsky, turn a snake into gold - perhaps, then you can and meat is fasting.
St. Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, was revered by a servant of God, an aristocratic lady, and she fed him chicken soup. He ate, but then a month did not eat anything, was on bread and water. If so, then, of course, sometimes you can eat a chicken and fast, and undressed walk ...
I - a man, you can say, the oldest, found the post-war times. When a woman with painted lips appeared in the city, she was looked upon as a scarecrow. I heard adult women say: how does she eat something? Lipstick is eating. And it was recently.
"This, they say, is not the main thing." Yes, maybe not. But just the main thing is almost there. Of course, the main thing is the soul. And in the shower what's going on? What, there - humility, patience and love? You do not often see this. The young especially the generation, unfortunately, for the most part does not think about the soul and is engaged in earthly and temporal.
Once I read in Prologue the teachings of Avva Pamva (who lived about 1500 years ago) about the last times. It says there will be unbelief, Tatba, embezzlement, different ways of seizing money, while people will be addicted to games. I read it years ago 40, I think: football, or what? Now I understand. Still play, play, play. And so this concept became widespread, that sometimes people, without thinking, say: "they played a wedding". Also have dispersed. Because - they "played", the play ended. That is, even in the earthly sense, people have ceased to live a serious life. There is little understanding that a person owes something, that he has some responsibilities.
One slave of God in a conversation with the youth asked them the following questions. To the male sex: "What do you want - have a wife, have children, have an apartment, give or be a husband, be a father, be a master?" And women: "What do you want - to have a husband, have children, have a farm, or be wife, be a mother, be a mistress? "That's the point, what to have or to be. To be or to have.