Today: December 15 2018
Increased emotionality is no longer a sign of weakness - it is a feature of the psyche. The existence of highly sensitive people scientifically proven. In a world where more and more people can not cope with stress, American psychologists closely studying people who are particularly inclined to worry about everything.
If you can not stand bright lights and bustle around, you can not watch horror movies, and watching the news about the earthquake or military conflict, starting to cry out of pity for the victims, you - a highly sensitive person. According to Elaine N. Aron author of the term, such as you, about 20% in the world. This means that it is time to stop hiding their feelings and do not be ashamed of that sob in the movie.
In the modern Western world, ashamed of being a wimp - and that is why we have to hide their feelings, to keep in good shape, to pretend that we can live without lunch and sleep and work 12 hours a day, and another colleague will look askance at us, bosses - let jokes at our expense.
In our country is not accepted capricious - and therefore we are forced to accept the conditions, that is, working in the basement or open-Space, the wind air-conditioner, when the harsh light of a fluorescent lamp and a fellow screams from neighboring departments.
Do we suffer from all this? Yes, we suffer. We do a lot of what we suffer we can not stand the feeling of hunger, can not watch movies about the war, do not wear woolen garments, because they prick, rip off the tag of t-shirts, because they interfere. We can not work when it's cold, hungry or noisy, we are acutely react to criticism and take any comments into your account, we catch a change in the mood of others. It remains to say who the - we.
- We are highly sensitive people. Take the time to laugh and call us sissy - and not only because it is very disappointing to us.
You may also enter the one-fifth of the world's population, which is distinguished by a special sensitivity of sensory information processing. Then you are - one of us.
Probably, you were also forbidden to watch the news program in your childhood, because they show the war and the hungry children in Africa? Maybe you were dying of shame when the geographer once in your life stuck you two? Maybe they hated running and, in general, any forms of competition, when everyone is looking at you, and you are running no more than a C-grade? Maybe it was a pain for you at school to raise your hand at the lesson, even if you knew exactly the correct answer? Can. And perhaps you have other examples from childhood that will help to say that you were a highly sensitive child and probably grew into the same highly sensitive adult.
The term "highly sensitive person" was first used in its current sense, Dr. Elaine Aron - scientist, author of The Highly Sensitive Person ( "Highly sensitive personality"), published in the US in the year 1997. The hypothesis that a high sensitivity to external stimuli - this is a feature inherent about 20% of inhabitants of the Earth, a psychologist has put forward twenty years ago.
But the real interest in this idea awoke the public only now, when it became clear that more and more people are unable to cope with stress.
And woke up just in time for twenty years, Dr. Aron and her colleagues conducted a lot of research that helped to understand the processes occurring in the brain of a highly sensitive person, and to draw conclusions that feature this innate: certain areas of the human brain respond to external stimuli sharper than the other, less sensitive people.
Moreover, not only the negative, but also to positive. Yes, highly sensitive people feel a sharp discomfort in awkward situations. But brighter feel pleasure from the contemplation of works of art and the forms of nature, listen to music, communicate with nice people.
1. You are experiencing deep feelings
One of the main characteristics of highly sensitive people - the ability to feel deeply what is happening around. They have well-developed intuition, which allows them to be more astute than their less sensitive comrades.
2. You react emotionally than others
Highly sensitive people experience more vivid emotions and are often infected with the emotions of others. This does not necessarily close friends, they can easily pick up a bad mood from a friend or colleague to attend to the problems. From this they hate bad news or make unpopular decisions - they are concerned about how others would react.
3. You often say, "Do not take to heart"
In different cultures to sensitive people are treated in different ways: if the West emotionality - a sign of weakness, it's not so clear in the East.
Dr. Ted Zeff, author of "The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide" ( "Survival Guide for highly sensitive people"), argues on the basis of his research that in India, Thailand and sensitive men tease is very rare, while in North America the men with fine mental organization are often the objects of ridicule.
4. Do you prefer to do sports alone
Highly sensitive people hate team sports, according to Dr. Zeff. And our experience confirms this: these people like cycling, swimming or walking, but the game of football or basketball makes them panic.
However, there are exceptions: if such a person were lucky with the intelligent and understanding parents, he may not be afraid to express themselves in the team.
5. You find it hard to accept the basic solutions
Highly sensitive people are careful to detail the situation and circumstances of the subtleties. From this they try and take into account all fall into a stupor because it all too much.
They can be confusing task to choose even ice cream. However, there is good news: once understood how to behave in a certain situation, in similar circumstances a man in the future, without getting lost, just do the right thing.
6. Are you upset when you make a mistake
Errors afflict everyone, but highly sensitive people - especially: due to the annoying details and missteps that others think you forget, they may suffer for weeks, imagining that they still remember the error.
7. Are you an introvert
But there are exceptions: According to Dr. Aron, 30% of highly sensitive individuals - extroverts. As it turns out, when a person grows up in a closed environment where all in the mind, in the village, small town, religious community or public person family.
8. You know how to work in a team
Paradoxically, the fact is that the depth of experience makes people highly excellent employees. Only they can not take a position on which they must make final decisions: for example, if it's a doctor, he should be able to consult with his colleagues before prescribe treatment.
9. You are prone to anxiety and depression
This happens only if in the past you have had a lot of adversity - but who of us were lucky to go without them? Shy people often teased as a child: if a highly sensitive man as a child did not have a proper support, he grows up with a sense that the world is hostile, and there is already only help doctors and antidepressants.
It is necessary to get accustomed to your child, high sensitivity is often inherited.
10. You do not carry sharp sounds
Someone can not stand when the creaking foam on the glass. Someone - the sound of a drill or punch. Someone annoyed when others eat loudly: chomping and smacking make really impossible why people generally allow themselves to eat with your mouth open ?!
11. You can not see violence on the screen
Highly sensitive people can not watch horror movies about dismemberment, disaster movies about drowning dogs and arthouse about rape. Lars von Trier, Gaspar Noe and Michael Haneke - cinematic enemies.
"Salo" Pier Paolo Pasolini? Look in his VGIK, but it is enough to read the story.
But "Game of Thrones", turning a blind eye to certain places, you can watch, because the costumes are beautiful.
12. You can cry out of nowhere
When such a person somehow insulting to tears, he really is capable of bursting into tears. And he, by the way, costs a lot of effort not to do. Sad Movie (non-violence), a touching commercial charity campaign, a story about a penguin, which annually arrives to the Brazilian who saved him (or Chilean?) - In short, anything can trigger a rush of feelings.
13. You are very polite
Good manners - a distinctive feature of highly sensitive people: it is important not to hurt the feelings of others. They try not to create a nuisance to others: regularly give way to transport, gently put the cart in the supermarket, people skip forward and apologize and thank infinitely. Thus, it is sometimes even annoying.
14. You urgently respond to criticism
Highly sensitive people literally can not tolerate criticism, taking it to heart. When people criticize their team, they all take at his own expense.
Because of this, they often use absurd protections: try to please everyone in advance, criticize themselves, avoid anything that might be a source of criticism.
Dr. Aron claims that as self-defense, such people use the following methods, which may seem strange to most: minimizing contact, accusation, attempts to achieve too high a result, resentment, project-mongering, the rejection of the competition.
15. You can not work in an open office
Open-space - a nightmare employee of any office noise, bright lights, who does not tolerate anything permanent melteshenie, phone conversations, debates and odors - from all of this at a highly sensitive person going round the head, and the focus does not work. It is generally not able to work under pressure: maybe someone to start working, and you need a good kick, but not him.
1. Remember that you are not alone and that happens to you - it is normal.
2. Avoid people who are not nice to you.
3. Avoid situations that bore you.
4. Do not overload your schedule - or you might fall off at the most inopportune moment.
5. Set healthy boundaries with people who use your capacity for empathy.
6. Keep a diary to help you unload your head and learn to make decisions.
7. Enjoy good music, contemplation of works of art and socializing with people who support you.
8. Every day, find time to relax: take a bath, meditate, go for a massage, sit quietly with a book. Alcohol is in this sense a bad option relaxation: Are you tired every day, but you can not get drunk every day.
9. Find an opportunity to be alone.
10. Take care of yourself: you need to take care of themselves as well as loved ones.