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Why do we need a relationship in which we only do it forward

Waiting for a call, look at the clock, economize minutes hide disappointment, keep both hands on the hope to invent excuses, quickly consolation to wait again ... Who do I need this kind of love? Journalist Eugene Baturina loses patience and no longer wants to find him.

"Listen, I'm cold, I'll go, I suppose. On another occasion, meet ", - says the whitish man in pipe and intends to dive into the subway. From the old tube with a loud speaker can be heard choking hysterical woman's voice: "I'll wait for three years, and you wait five minutes, you can not!" Whitish shrugs, puts the phone into his coat pocket and goes to move, waving away the first thorny snowflakes.

Living waiting difficult. This may be one of the worst test. Therefore, we try to avoid it in every way in their daily lives. Order products for home delivery, so as not to stand in line. Learning "state body", to bypass a mile away government offices, full of "I-just-ask" ladies. Pay online all that is possible - from the phone to the sea tickets. We cherish their time, cherish, appreciate, try to spend sparingly and only on something that brings pleasure.

Another thing is the personal life. There's just a motto: no savings, and more anguish! We have such a national women's game - wait for the guy. For months, for years, until you get bored, and tired seldom. How do we expect from such a war?

Well how?

He is "it's complicated".

And the crisis in it - the average age, average height, the financial, the existential.

And a bunch of urgent matters, contingencies and other "no".

And, alas, "difficult people" that you want to be accustomed.

And he, of course, "is not ready yet." And it is certainly "can be understood."

He disappears for a long time, without explanation. Then suddenly it appears, arranges day or week of the holiday, and then splash cold and disappear - to break into your dream with a mysterious text messages: "The night ... Thinking of you ... sleep?" Sometimes, passionately asking forgiveness. Sometimes grimly silent, as if hinting at the deep inner feelings. And most do not steamed. Late for fifteen minutes? Well, I went to see you soon. It was he who value their time.

You are constantly busy with them - even in his absence. Waiting call you? I wondered whether he was satisfied with the last visit and personally to you? Tormented by cowardice, to send messages to all the messengers (and that if he carried vayber and now he only votsap?) And every second check - read it?

You do not build their own plans and their ready at any time to cancel - then he would call it today. You are forever on the lookout. You unclear what kind of relationship, what their status is and whether they have a future. Who are you to him at all - girl, girlfriend, sex prostigospodi-partner?

And his favorite words - "I am happy with everything" and "I did not promise you anything." Do not lie, by the way. It's not his war. We ourselves get involved in such a relationship, both exhausting meaningless fights. We hope to wait, to take the enemy into submission. To starve - there is so romantic!

Of all the halls in the world to me less like all the waiting rooms. Even white, new, modern, and all the "vi pi" - they are some uncomfortable cold. This is because the very atmosphere of expectation painful. People, of course, trying to escape - read a book or facebook, watch downloaded to aypad movie, take a nap, put it under his head bag, drink another coffee from a paper cup next. But if time stands wall and freezes, and all actions are meaningless.

Waiting absorbs without a trace, it is jealous and does not allow distractions.

The relationship in which we are constantly waiting for someone - this is the same endless waiting room. And out of it only two.

1. Not to wait. That is, to live their lives. Not arranging tantrums and ceremonial farewells, effort will shift the focus from the men themselves. That is, you have a job, friends, cat, singing courses, the dream to go to Iceland - well, they are doing. Better to Iceland than a hundred times to check the phone. Gradually, you will like - it's your life, and because the only beautiful. If he suddenly wakes up and wants to share it with you (and this often happens, though I do not want anyone hopes up), let the calls, arrange.

2. Not to wait. That is to tear once and for all. Without conditions and depressions. Regains the proper time instead of aimlessly killing him.

But the good, the right people do not usually have to wait. They appear just in time.

Lady Mail.Ru