Life is filled with incredible stories that can not be found even in fictional works. Vitaly, an oncologist, told me about this.
One day a woman with a newly diagnosed terrible diagnosis, a brain tumor, came to their hospital. The woman came to Vitaly with her disappointing picture. The picture, and the truth, presented an eerie picture: the entire brain is covered with a tumor, but it did not fit in with the general state of the vigorous patient. Vitali realized that there was something wrong, and decided to take a second shot.
It turned out that there was no tumor. Apparently, in the medical center or polyclinic, where the patient came from, there was some kind of hardware failure. The woman was incredibly happy and hurried to her room to collect things. That's where the temptation happened: she thought that she had lost money. The fact is that as a bookmark in the book she used a thousand-ruble note. This is something expensive bookmark now was not. The woman succumbed to temptation: she called the doctors and made a scandal. Vitaly came to the noise. The patient, forgetting about the unexpected joy with the failed diagnosis, resented more and more, blaming the entire staff and doctors.
Vitali noticed that the woman's face reddened: apparently, the pressure was rising. He decided to go to get medicine, to help her in some way, to calm her, to relieve her emotional tension. Sadly enough, but he did not have time: the patient had an attack, she could not be pumped out. It looks incredible, but the woman died. A little later, the cleaning lady found a thousand-ruble note under the bed, which, as it turned out, fell out of the book and thus became the cause of the patient's sudden death. That's how condemnation of neighbors, in vain accusation of them turned into an irreparable tragedy.
Not all of us see the disastrous consequences of condemnation, but these consequences undoubtedly exist. Condemnation is a disease of our time, this is what we live all the time. We look at everything through the glasses of condemnation, we speak with condemnation, we think, condemning others. Often condemnation is the only topic of communication. Two meet only in order to condemn the third. The most common topics of everyday conversations are to pomosolit information about someone's life, laugh at someone else's mistakes, complain about bosses, etc. And the appearance of the other person, and his view, and his tone - everything is exposed to the peremptory judgment of our thought.
Condemnation is a certain indicator, a sign of what is happening inside you. Condemnation is born of discontent, but ends in indignation. Condemning others, we revolt ourselves, we deprive ourselves of the soul of the world. If you look inside the soul of the condemnator, you can see how they swarm, disturb, scrape off dissatisfied thoughts. They are like abscesses on the body, the touch of which causes pain. Therefore, this person everywhere is not so: in the family, at work, in the state. He is looking for someone to complain about, ponyt, and at the same time talk all sorts of nasty things.
Condemnation and gossip is like a tedious buzzing of flies that swirl over a stinking pit and buzz themselves with something monotonous. The condemnator is like a fly. He always flies his thoughts over something nasty, evil, unclean - by someone else's mistakes and mistakes, and he always itches and buzzes about everything that's bad, that everything is not right.
To condemn means to see only darkness around you. But our eyes are created by God so as to react to the light, and the soul is created to see the light, and we ourselves adjust the eye of our souls to darkness. In the end, talking about the dark - it means to be dark. Therefore, people who are steeped in condemnation, as a rule, are dull and gloomy.
Conversation with those who are accustomed to condemn, weary, it sucks from the interlocutor forces, carries him to his discontent and endless gossip, and after himself leaves some dregs. It is like mud rising from the bottom of the lake. Therefore, each condemnator can rightly be said that he muddies the water. After communicating with him, only dark feelings remain inside.
Condemnation comes entirely out of rebellion. The rebels always strive for revolution, overthrow those in power, to come to power themselves and judge those who were before. The rebel court is merciless. And the fallen passion of condemnation is a rebel. He overthrows everyone and everything in his soul, he will find clues in each person for his sentence.
The primary here is the soreness of the soul, and the condemnation of others is only a way of expressing it. In this sense, it is impossible to please the condemnator, and he himself is likened to an evil dog that barks and throws himself at every counterman. So the soul, exposed to the passion of condemnation, breaks, it barks and throws itself at everyone, whoever it is, ready to rend and bite.
In the Orthodox ascetic tradition there is the concept of intelligent doing, when the whole inner world, the whole soul of man is directed to Christ, the mind cuts off evil thoughts and cultivates the kind, the heart gives rise to warm feelings, the will is directed to good. Condemnation in a sense is also doing, but not smart, but insane. The entire inner world, the whole soul of such a person is looking for, for what would seize, to condemn a person, to express discontent and indignation.
Condemnation produces within the condemnator the imbalance of all his mental powers. He loses integrity, because he internally rushes to one, then to another, relying on his curves, lying thoughts. After the condemnation, there is neither peace nor purity. There - a complete confusion of gloomy thoughts and feelings. In this sense, condemnation is a spiritual affliction.
The condemnator often believes that he merely states the facts that he is not afraid to talk about injustices, about what actually is. But the condemnator does not notice that he often looks for it specially, but in what way to convict and accuse the other. He is like a man who brings home various garbage and trash, fills his home and sits in this litter. So the soul of the condemnator is likened to the place where all sorts of garbage are collected.
Condemnation gives rise to unnoticed injustice, and the rebellion of our thoughts
In fact, condemnation is not born out of seeing injustice as such, but, again, from the revolt of our own thoughts, the riot of inner feelings that rush from side to side, are ready to attack anyone, just to find this excuse.
If a person does not overcome his rebellion, he will also condemn the closest people: parents, husband or wife, children, will complain and resent. The life of such a person is a complete disaster. After all, he himself sees all the troubles and is annoyed.
What to do? How to overcome the condemnation?
If to speak in essence, then a person will never be freed from the passion of condemnation, until he tastes humility. In this sense, each of us has his own measure of condemnation of others in the measure of pride of each of us. After all, condemnation means that you have placed yourself above others and consider yourself capable of evaluating their life and actions, making a verdict, how the judge pronounces the verdict or the doctor puts the patient in a diagnosis.
The soul that attains humility is freed from condemnation. Humility brings peace to the soul, rebellion goes away, and man ceases to condemn, nothing is inside him, he does not stop to look at other people's shortcomings.
Prayer is the opposite of condemnation. So instead of condemnation, we will sincerely pray for others
One woman, Natalia, told me. She has severe back pain, so she can not stand all the service in the temple. Somehow Natalia came to the divine service and tried to sit down on the bench. But she was not allowed another woman: she first pushed her away, and then deliberately put her bag on this place, so that no one else has sat down. Realizing that she would not be able to sit down, Natalia stepped aside and began praying for this woman from the heart. She was so humbled and completely immersed in prayer, that inside her there was neither hatred nor indignation. Suddenly, for herself, after a sincere prayer about the offender, Natalia's back stopped hurting. So the Lord gave her comfort for the fact that she humbly met rudeness, and then, instead of condemning her heart, she prayed for that woman. She did not even ask for herself, she did not expect any relief from the pain. But the Lord comforted her. And whenever we instead of condemnation sincerely pray for other people, the Lord will give everyone some kind of comfort consolation.
Praying for another person is already an act of good, a desire to save one's neighbor. Prayer is opposite to the stigma of condemnation, as the heat of cold, the light of darkness, the love of hatred are opposite.
When we love someone, we see in it the virtues that outsiders do not notice. Loving does not interfere with the pleasure of meeting with his beloved none of his imperfections, in fact he does not notice this, imperfections seem to be not. On the contrary, with antipathy towards another person, everything in him becomes an irritating imperfection - both his tone, his look, and his manner of behavior. Its very presence is already unbearable, already an object for condemnation.
Love and humility do not come immediately. What to do now?
An angry dog bites, being released from a leash. Therefore, to begin with, it is necessary to put it on a chain, let it barks from there. Those who want to overcome the condemnation must, first of all, curb their language, keep it from the leash, forbid themselves to speak, as soon as a conviction rolls to their throat. Let you mentally still condemn, but at least keep quiet for a start.
You can even try this exercise. Do not talk about anything bad about a week. Just as an experiment. From Sunday to Sunday, from confession to confession, do not utter a single bad word about the neighbor. If you say something about someone, then only good. So already work on yourself will begin.
Sometimes we think that we do not condemn, but only argue about the actions of another person. How does one differ from the other?
Reasoning turns into condemnation on the above simple principle: when we start talking about people bad. Let this bad seem to correspond to them, but when pronouncing the dark, we put a brand on them. We will try to say good, bright, kind, then there will be no condemnation.
Believe me, if we stop talking about bad people, then nothing will collapse, nor the rule of law, nor pedagogy, nor intra-family relations. On the contrary, there will be more purity and light. Let the picture of life seem incomplete. But better it will be incomplete because of the crowding out of darkness, rather than because of the constant expulsion of light.
But to correct your word is not enough, it is important to correct the thought. What we see in a person depends on how we look. The bee will everywhere find a beautiful flower and sit on it to collect useful nectar, and the fly everywhere will find dirt and sit there to collect new germs.
So you saw a drunken man and immediately thought: "Loafer, beggar! And as soon as the light is like this ?! "But imagine that there was a time when his mother gave birth to him with love, how she did not like the soul in him and hoped that his life would turn out happily. His drunkenness is a disease, he suffers from this, as each of us suffers from his secret ailments of the soul. His soul is waiting for help, and even a simple prayer from his heart will benefit him.
Abba Pimen: "If a person finds fault in himself, then in his brother he sees perfection"
To the Monk Seraphim of Vyritsky somehow a young married couple brought a large sum of money as a donation. Saint Seraphim did not receive them, but blessed them to give to the first person on the way to the station. Imagine their surprise when the first man to meet was a drunken man from intoxication. The young wife was confused: how can you give money to such? But her husband made a decision: "Let's act according to the words of the father." When they gave the money to a drunken man, it turned out that by that they saved him from suicide. He worked in trade, and he was short of exactly the amount that they gave him. Afraid of prison, he fell into despair and thought to put his hands on himself. Unexpected charity saved his life. So the saints saw the troubles of people and saved them, and we are ready to condemn them in advance and thereby contribute to their death.
If we had seen our sins, would we have looked at the sins of another? When you have a toothache, will you think about what hurts another? And when we see our shortcomings, when our soul hurts about our own infirmities, the sins of others become irrelevant. That is why in the ancient patericon the famous words of the Monk Pimen the Great are quoted. Someone asked Avv Pimen how a man can achieve that he does not speak ill of his neighbor. The old man replied: "If a person, looking at himself, finds faults in himself, he sees in his brother perfection. And when he seems to himself perfect, then, comparing himself with a brother, finds him thin. "
The Lord reduced all our salvation to the only phrase: Do not judge, and you will not be judged; Do not judge, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven (Luke 6: 37). May God save us all and not be condemned.